Mrs. Cratchett

Knots Landing of Rainbow Row -- Chapter One
After moving into the new house last year, I quickly learned that the neighbors are all super nice. And apparently, some are super nosey.

I was invited next door to a Cinco de Mayo party shortly after moving in to my place. A friend was over and we started the evening off right by having a few margaritas at my place before the two of us wandered next door to the neighbors' back yard. I had a decent buzz going, was feeling friendly and looking forward to meeting some new folks. Chuck and Gene have a beautiful space that's immaculately groomed, as it should be -- don't all gay couples have flawless taste and design style? The party was quite a bash with people from all over the neighborhood and beyond, an open bar, and lots of snacks. Most people seemed sufficiently loosened up by the tequila when my friend and I got there and we had fun meeting many of my immediate neighbors and having another drink or two.

One of them was named Sarah -- heretofore referred to as Mrs. Cratchett. Her home is across the street, kitty-corner to mine. My side of the street is on a slight slope, so our homes sit up on the top of a small hill. This allows for a nice view of the tops of the trees in the yards across the street. I have to look down slightly to see their houses over there. Well apparently its easier for them to look up at us on this side.

"Todd, meet Sarah" Gene says, introducing me to Mrs. Cratchett.

"Oh, so you're the new guy eh?" she says, shaking my hand with one hand, holding her margarita with the other. I can see the fog of alcohol in her eyes and knew she was feeling pretty good. "Just so you know," she continues, "I sometimes stay up late at night, watching TV in my front room, so I've got a great view of your house. I can see when people are coming and going -- you know, for the booty calls." She grins.

I laugh and replied, "Well, unfortunately, no booty calls yet."

Her response was dead pan: "I know."

Damn Mrs. Cratchett!