Picture this:
You're having an early dinner in a darkly lit Bangladeshi restaurant, seated in a booth next to a window with a couple of friends. The blinds are down, but you can clearly see outside since its still daylight. As you're enjoying your shrimp korma and other Bangladeshi niceties, you notice something strange.
Is that woman staring at you, watching you eat? She's standing outside the restaurant, looking into the window, pulling her hair back, hair clip clinging to the bottom of her halter top, just above the bared pudgy midriff.
Wait, she CAN'T see you! She's using the window as a mirror! But does she know you're there? It's possible, but you don't know for sure. She removes the hair clip from her top and places it on her head, turns from side to side to ensure it looks good. Then she begins pursing her lips, checking her make-up and adjusting her bra. At this point, you and your friends are laughing hysterically, watching the hot mess that is standing just inches away from your table.
Sadly she finishes her business and walks away. But before she does, something crazy happens. She blows you a kiss!
Its kind of like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry is dating this hot chick that Kramer swears is a phone sex operator, and you never know for sure until the end when she tells Jerry not to ever call her again, then turns to Kramer in her sultry, slutty voice and says, "You either!"
Who knows if that kiss was for us, or if she really saw us...but that shrimp sure was good.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
KLRR, Episode: "Next"
KLRR = Knots Landing of Rainbow Row, for those of you who aren't good with acronyms.
Episode: "Next" because I can't remember which number episode was the last one, and at this point I'm too lazy to look.
"NEXT TIME I SHOULD BRING RUBBER GLOVES"
As luck would have it, my neighbor just happens to be a former veterinary technician. She's the one that takes care of Baxter when I have to travel for work. She's quite a character. I'll reserve details on her for a future blog entry.
This is Baxter.
I didn't know of her former profession when I first met her. But now it makes sense, thinking back on the random comments she used to make. For example, sometimes we would walk our dogs together, and she'd say "Uh oh, Baxter has poopy-butt." By the time I could react, as the brain chewed on the words "poopy-butt" and their possible meaning, Baxter would be squatting to leave a present on a neighbors lawn. "Ahhh," I'd say, "that's what you meant by poopy-butt." Clearly something only noticeable by former veterinary technicians.
Well, having such a person as a neighbor is quite helpful. Every couple of months or so, Baxter will have issues "back there" and will chew on his nether region (and usually attempts to lick master's face thereafter, which is always rebuffed). Enter former-veterinary tech neighbor: "He needs his anal glands expressed."
Once again, before the brain can process that statement, she drags him to the deck in the back, pulls him across her lap and starts squeezing his ass. Voila -- anal glands expressed! While Baxter didn't seem to be a big fan of this process, the fact of the matter is that it seemed to work. He stopped chewing on his tail for a few weeks.
Not to seem ungrateful, I usually thank the neighbor profusely for the exercise. After the most recent episode, her response? "Next time I should bring rubber gloves." Uh, yeah!
Episode: "Next" because I can't remember which number episode was the last one, and at this point I'm too lazy to look.
"NEXT TIME I SHOULD BRING RUBBER GLOVES"
As luck would have it, my neighbor just happens to be a former veterinary technician. She's the one that takes care of Baxter when I have to travel for work. She's quite a character. I'll reserve details on her for a future blog entry.
This is Baxter.
I didn't know of her former profession when I first met her. But now it makes sense, thinking back on the random comments she used to make. For example, sometimes we would walk our dogs together, and she'd say "Uh oh, Baxter has poopy-butt." By the time I could react, as the brain chewed on the words "poopy-butt" and their possible meaning, Baxter would be squatting to leave a present on a neighbors lawn. "Ahhh," I'd say, "that's what you meant by poopy-butt." Clearly something only noticeable by former veterinary technicians.
Well, having such a person as a neighbor is quite helpful. Every couple of months or so, Baxter will have issues "back there" and will chew on his nether region (and usually attempts to lick master's face thereafter, which is always rebuffed). Enter former-veterinary tech neighbor: "He needs his anal glands expressed."
Once again, before the brain can process that statement, she drags him to the deck in the back, pulls him across her lap and starts squeezing his ass. Voila -- anal glands expressed! While Baxter didn't seem to be a big fan of this process, the fact of the matter is that it seemed to work. He stopped chewing on his tail for a few weeks.
Not to seem ungrateful, I usually thank the neighbor profusely for the exercise. After the most recent episode, her response? "Next time I should bring rubber gloves." Uh, yeah!
Porn Star Fever
What is so alluring about being a porn star? I mean, come on... the whole world sees your junk in action? Hardly seems appealing to me. The money must be really good.
Why the hell would I blog about this, you ask? Oh, you know....I just happened to get a note from a friend yesterday that said "recognize anyone?" with a video file attached. Let's just say I recognized the guy's face -- and not the rest of him, since it was the first time seeing all that was on display. Which leads me to ask...doesn't this guy realize that people he knows are gonna see that shit? Perhaps he doesn't care.
Incidentally, this isn't the first time this has happened to me. The scenario was slightly different, but the end result the same -- someone I know who had become a West Hollywood star-slut. Sheesh!
For all my friends out there, rest assured -- you will never have to worry about seeing ME in such a condition. Luckily I don't have porn producers knocking down my door. But if you do, watch out! Some day, I'll catch you!
Why the hell would I blog about this, you ask? Oh, you know....I just happened to get a note from a friend yesterday that said "recognize anyone?" with a video file attached. Let's just say I recognized the guy's face -- and not the rest of him, since it was the first time seeing all that was on display. Which leads me to ask...doesn't this guy realize that people he knows are gonna see that shit? Perhaps he doesn't care.
Incidentally, this isn't the first time this has happened to me. The scenario was slightly different, but the end result the same -- someone I know who had become a West Hollywood star-slut. Sheesh!
For all my friends out there, rest assured -- you will never have to worry about seeing ME in such a condition. Luckily I don't have porn producers knocking down my door. But if you do, watch out! Some day, I'll catch you!
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